Incest: “I haven’t said anything for 34 years …” In Nantes, a poignant public meeting frees people to speak – 20 Minutes

“Together, let’s get out of the silence. »Inscribed on a large poster at the back of the hall of the Tobacco Factory, the slogan of the independent commission on incest and sexual violence against children (Ciivise) seems to come true, like this Wednesday evening at
Nantes. A public meeting, the first in a long series, was organized by Edouard Durand and Nathalie Mathieu, the two co-presidents of this body created by the State whose purpose is
to free the floor to reform public policies on child protection. “I lived incest for more than 13 years”, starts at the microphone a forty-something, standing in the middle of a predominantly female audience. “We were several in the siblings, we were seen as liars,” she continues, wiping a tear. How do you move on when you have experienced all of this? “

While the commission had planned a presentation of its operation, its members were finally quickly withdrawn. In front of them, a strong and immediate need to speak, guided by the desire to free yourself from a weight but also by that of making a difference. “I was the victim of my brother at the age of 6, and then I said nothing for 34 years, says a woman with gray hair, now engaged in an association. I think we really need to re-examine the issue of prescription. “” We have to get up this fucking
prescription, even implores a man, whose complaint against his brother was recently dismissed (as in 70% of cases), more than 40 years after the facts. How did you want me to go and file a complaint earlier? I kept it all to myself for a very long time… ”

“I was 14 years old, I was a devoted kid…”

In a reassuring voice, the co-president of Ciivise and former children’s judge Edouard Durand send a smile and a few words after each testimonial, before handing over the floor. “We will not exclude any subject, you can count on us,” he assures us, “while the first recommendations will be announced very soon. We already have three identified workspaces: the identification of violence, the judicial aspect, but also the care to be given to people in whom suffering lasts all life. “

Sonia *, she hopes that the lines will move in terms of prevention. The trembling voice, this mother of four children, dressed in black, also wanted to give her testimony this Wednesday evening. “I was 14, I was a devoted kid, my stepfather asked me to put ointment on her and closed the shutters. I felt that something was wrong but I had to be silent for several years, she breathes. Today, he passed away, it’s too late for me, but I would like to know how to protect my daughters … “” Maybe if someone had explained to me, at school, that my grandfather was not allowed to touch my body… ”asks another participant.

Some 4,000 testimonials

Difficulties in finding a professional to talk to, an obstacle course to file a complaint, the question of reconstruction after such a trauma also seems essential. Raped at the age of 4 by her teacher, Juliette * says she has been fighting “all alone in the dark for 20 years” and has “just” gained access to the care she feels she needs, after several years of antidepressants. and medical wandering punctuated by psychological and physical pain of all kinds. “This care exists, each child victim must be able to benefit from it, whatever his place of life”, promises Edouard Durand.

Some 4.000 testimonials have already been collected since the launch of the online platform and the phone number at the end of September. The work of the Ciivise, which estimates that 160,000 children are victims of sexual violence each year in France, should last until 2023. Its next trips will take place on November 19 in Bordeaux and December 14 in Strasbourg.

* First names have been changed