Mima (30) is sure that she does not want to have children: People prefer to see unhappy people with children than happily childless ones | TVNOVINY.sk – TVNOVINY.sk

Voluntarily childless people are increasing. One of them is a young woman who told us how she copes with the pressure of society and her surroundings. When the director Tereza Nvotová published a status on Mother’s Day that she did not want to have children, she caused a great debate. Some expressed their support, others convinced her that life in old age without grandchildren would be sad. The young filmmaker is not the only woman who openly says that she does not want to be a mother. Sociological research confirms that the number of voluntarily childless people is also increasing in Slovakia, and social networks help in the fact that women can support each other on this topic. People prefer to see unhappy people with children rather than happily childless ones. Thirty-year-old Mima has been thinking about childlessness since she was growing up. She never saw herself in the role of a mother. When asked in high school where they saw themselves in a few years, some of her classmates planned to have a big family. It was absolutely unimaginable for her. “I always told myself that first of all, a woman must be mentally prepared to have a child, so that everyone, including the woman and the child, is satisfied. I think some women are born with the mission to have a baby and it’s fantastic. But that’s not my case,” says Mima. Women and couples who feel the same way experience strong peer pressure. According to her, society does not like to see others who deviate from the usual stereotypes. Mima experienced the strongest pressures after five years in a relationship. “I was with my ex-boyfriend for seven years and when we reached the five-year mark, the pressures came from all sides. People didn’t understand what we were still waiting for, why we still didn’t have a child, whether we had a problem. It was very intense then,” he recalls. Her grandmother, with whom she has a very good relationship, had the most questions. However, she could not understand that she did not want to have a child. Mima decided not to discuss this topic with her. She chose a similar strategy with her parents. “Mom once asked me what my plans were for the future. She went about it very politely and discreetly, and we came to the conclusion that we’d rather leave the topic as it is,” he says. He thinks that it is normal for a person to doubt his decision under great pressure. “The decision not to have children is not yet completely common and society is not yet identified with it. The pressure is great. When you reach a certain age, it is expected of you and the questions are very intense. Of course, then you start to doubt. You wonder if those people are right after all and if the questions don’t have their own justification when they ask about it so aggressively,” says Mima. Resisting the pressure is difficult, according to her, and many couples succumb to it. However, according to her, there is no universal advice on how to cope with it and how to answer the question of whether or not to have a child. “You have to be a strong personality and be convinced of your opinion. You have to focus on your life, but I don’t think you have to deal with other people’s opinions. People would rather see people who are not so happy with children than happy without children, because they think that only a child will bring them happiness,” he thinks. Young people no longer have a dictated life path Sociologist from the Slovak Academy of Sciences Branislav Šprocha explains that in recent years we have seen an increasing trend of childlessness among young people. There are several concrete reasons, but one main fact plays a role. Nowadays, people no longer have a precisely dictated life path. While in the past it was obvious that women finished their studies at a young age and immediately got married and had children, today they have more options and ways to realize themselves in life. Many find the meaning of life in self-realization, studying or traveling. The most important reasons remain socio-economic. “The situation has become much more complicated in people’s life paths. It becomes less clear, direct, clear. Many people don’t even try to become parents or get married. They are looking for alternative forms such as cohabitation. The question is connected to very interconnected factors that can gradually lead to a situation where a woman remains permanently childless,” adds the sociologist. The latest population census also confirms the trend. After the population census in 2011, the proportion of single people compared to married people was higher for the first time in the history of Slovakia. In 2021, the share of singles increased even more. According to sociologist Šproch, some postpone parenthood because they are still waiting for the right time. They either want to earn more or buy an apartment and save money. In some cases, children are put off for so long that they can’t have them from a biological point of view anymore. There are also those among us who originally wanted to have children, but found that the childless life suits them. According to Šproch, around five percent of the population is permanently childless. ​Society is becoming more open Voluntary childlessness is not a new phenomenon or a manifestation of the current era. We recorded the biggest fall in the birth rate among women who were born in the 1970s. They came of reproductive age shortly after the revolution, when society experienced enormous changes. Women and young people faced poor economic prospects and had to face situations that previous generations did not have to face. Up to ten percent of these women will probably be childless. In the following generations, according to Šproch, fertility doubled. According to the expert, voluntary childlessness will not yet have a significant impact on demography. Despite the fact that many perceive Slovakia as a conservative country, here too, minority opinions are gradually coming to the fore. “It is moving towards greater openness not only towards childless women, but also towards other relatively new phenomena in Slovak society until recently, for example those who live ‘wildly’, or women who have undergone abortion, or towards divorced people. Society in Slovakia is becoming more tolerant,” says the sociologist. I’m not afraid of solitude. My dream is to build a good relationship. Mima is often asked if she is afraid that there will be no one to take care of her in her old age. “When you look at the way people raise their children and the relationships older parents have with their children, there’s no guarantee that children will take care of their parents,” he says. And he is not afraid of loneliness either. “I would like to have a very nice relationship with the partner with whom we will build a home. Whether the child will be a part of it or not is irrelevant at the moment. I would like to live with someone in a solid and harmonious relationship,” concludes Mima.