(CNN) – While zombies are grotesque, werewolves are unsophisticated and mummies are headless, bloodthirsty vampires have style, intelligence and storytelling potential in abundance.
For centuries, bloodsuckers have fascinated and frightened us, occupying the most macabre corners of our collective imagination. There’s a reason we’re so drawn to them, says one supernatural lore expert: Of all our other monsters, vampires are the most humane.
“Modern vampires are characters who generate sympathy,” said Phil Stevens, a cultural anthropologist and associate professor at the University at Buffalo. “They are trapped in a terrible cosmic infinity, condemned to a life of disappointment due to their need for human blood.”
It also doesn’t hurt that they are traditionally “sophisticated, elite, handsome, sexy,” Stevens said.
“Vampires are romantic and sexy beings,” he told CNN in an email. “They don’t go through a hideous and ugly transition, the way animals do.”
Tragic and terrifying, intriguing and repulsive, vampire stories have endured for a long time. From Bela Lugosi’s definitive Dracula to the idiots living on Staten Island from the FX series “What We Do in the Shadows,” these are the most influential, deeply entertaining and, yes, most brilliant vampires we’ve ever seen on screen.
Bela Lugosi, “Dracula”
Bela is the model.
The Hungarian actor’s Dracula is the great-grandfather from whom all other movie vampires (and Halloween vampire costumes) are descended. His version of the villain Bram Stoker speaks shyly, glides across the screen with a hypnotic threat, and then performs real hypnotism on his victims. From that Transylvanian accent that changes the “w” to “v”, to the royal cape he wears in his own castle (Dracula does not dress casually), the Count of Lugosi is the original king of exsanguination.
The Count, “Sesame Street”
Your first favorite vampire.
AH AH AH! If you grew up watching PBS, Count Count might have been the first vampire you ever loved. It has two pointed canines for sucking blood, yet it seems to subsist solely on the pleasure of counting numbers. The Count is a familiar monster, albeit more ghoulish than his Cookie Eater counterpart, and he still does so today in “Sesame Street,” outliving even the most famous on-screen vampires. It seems that math is more sustainable than the blood of the Muppet neighbors.
Lestat, Claudia and company, “Interview with a vampire”
Hollywood embraces vampire camp.
The best works of vampire fiction infuse a healthy dose of camp into the proceedings, and this 1994 adaptation of Anne Rice’s debut novel is packed with that. For one thing, it stars Tom Cruise in a blonde ponytail. You have to praise Cruise’s commitment to his role as the famous Lestat, a vicious antihero who takes immense pleasure in dispatching victims. And young Kirsten Dunst turns into a chilling vampire girl, years before “Let the Right One In” and its American remake put bloodthirsty children at the center of their stories. “Interview with a Vampire” is taken seriously, too seriously, perhaps, for a movie starring Brad Pitt in colored contact lenses, when, at its core, it is really a frivolous game.
David and his gang, “The Lost Boys”
Teen movies are better with bloodsuckers.
“You’re eating MAGGOTS, Michael!” – Kiefer Sutherland, the original idiot vampire. It turns out that being trapped in the body of a teenager for an eternity also keeps your soul rooted in adolescence. “The Lost Boys” is a quintessential ’80s movie: it has teenagers in love, bullies with bad hair, cheesy violence, the two Coreys. In some ways, it seamlessly blends teen comedy and horror tropes into a hybrid film that is vital and enduring. A critical triumph, this is not, but vampires weren’t taken seriously for decades anyway. “The Lost Boys” understands that the best vampire movies are fun above all else.
“Only lovers are left alive”
Vampires explore existential dread.
Let director Jim Jarmusch make vampirism even more unsettling. Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston are a painfully elegant couple facing the loneliness of immortality. This film is many things: a condemnation of human excess, an environmental allegory, a quiet celebration of life, a meditation on death. It’s the movie on this list that will likely provoke the most introspection and perhaps the only indie mumblecore movie about vampires. Of course, vampires aren’t real (or are they?), But we imagine they can sound and feel a bit like that.
“Twilight”
A brilliant blockbuster.
Try as we might, we can’t, shouldn’t, forget the hit movie series that taught us that vampires shine. For years, your position on Team Edward or Team Jacob was just as important as your blood type. “Twilight” changed the rules – not only were the members of the Cullen clan “daywalkers”, their skin gleamed in the sun like porcelain dolls. Horror was not the focus here, although there were some violent clashes between vampires. No, “Twilight” was actually about the lasting love between a bumbling high school student and an undead man nearly 100 years her senior. The films made billions, divided critics while delighting teenage girls, and inspired producers to pull out YA book series in an attempt to create their own successful supernatural movie and television sagas. But only “Twilight” endowed the cinema with what may be the most epic baseball game ever seen on screen.
Housemates, “What We Do in the Shadows” (TV series)
Vampires as clowns.
Where do you start with these buffoons? They’re cowardly, careless, and goofy, the antithesis of the archetypal vampire, and yet they might just be the most entertaining group of bloodsuckers in years. Think about it: Nandor sings Barenaked Ladies while doing jazz. Nadja chasing her ghost doll after she inhabits an inflatable rat. Colin Robinson fighting a literal troll. Laszlo takes over a Pennsylvania township as the regular human bartender Jackie Daytona. You’ve never seen vampires act so foolish, but that’s what makes this outfit so charming. BAT!
“True Blood”
Bayou vampires receive their episodic expiration.
Three words: Soapy southern vampires. Well, two more: Alexander Skarsgård. And that’s all you need to know about “True Blood,” HBO’s southern goth that put humans, bloodsuckers, fairies and other supernatural species in rural Louisiana to fight for supremacy. It was an escapist fantasy with lots of nudity and blood (this was HBO, after all) that understood that, at their core, vampires are hedonistic monsters, and that makes them great for television. (HBO and CNN are part of WarnerMedia.)
“Bram Stoker’s Dracula”
Finally, vampires are sexy.
In his version of the world’s most beloved earl, director Francis Ford Coppola embraced artifice. From the actors’ waxwork performances to the soundstages straight out of Hollywood’s Golden Age, the film was pure Victorian steampunk fantasy. “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” also highlighted the novel’s direct line: sex. Gary Oldman’s Dracula can’t hold the Earl of Lugosi’s flame, but Oldman is far more sensual. “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” is a strange mix of theater and eroticism, although poor Keanu Reeves’ Jonathan Harker seems radiated from another universe in which neither exists.
Spike, Angel and the rest of the vampires, “Buffy the vampire slayer”
The known romance between a girl and a vampire.
“Buffy” may have been about a teenage vampire slayer, but not without her melodrama, featuring not one, but two forbidden romances between the slayer and the monsters she was destined to destroy. First there was the vampire with a soul Angel (whose evil alter-ego Angelus occasionally returned). Then there was enemy turned ally Spike, a fan favorite. (Both bloodsuckers were also part of the “Angel” spinoff series). Buffy didn’t end either of them at the end of the series, but that hasn’t stopped fans from choosing sides nearly 20 years after it ended.
“Blade”
The “daywalker” stalks the night.
Poor Blade. He hates vampires, but he is also one of them. He kills the bloodsuckers for a living, but he has a thirst for blood himself. He also wears a black leather trench coat which probably weighs on him on his hunts. But he’s a marvel to watch, a graceful assassin who reconciles the two conflicting worlds he comes from with comic book flair. Mahershala Ali will take on Blade’s mantle next, hopefully dressed in the iconic, albeit sweaty, Wesley Snipes coat.
CNN’s Radhika Marya contributed to this article.
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